What, What, WHAT are you doing?

Oh dear reader, WHAT DID I GET MYSELF INTO?

It's official. The children have arrived. I am in a cabin with 12 little girls and 3 other counselors. Now, let me preface the following rant by saying that these girls are generally very sweet, kind, good-hearted girls. They want to have a summer of fun and enjoyment in the beautiful Maine wilderness. But. . . . they are going to be the death of me!

I just don't know what to do. Two of them have lice. Do you know what that means, dear reader? I wake up early to shampoo their hair. I scrub it and then pick the lice eggs out. But, don't worry, because that doesn't wake me up each morning. Oh no, dear reader. I have one girl who misses her mother SO MUCH that she wakes up vomiting from nervousness. Suffice to say that the infirmary and I are on a first-name basis on day 2.

Moving on, one of my cocounselors is SO sick that she is unable to move and has a temperature of 103. The poor dear is stuck in the infirmary. And, while I feel awful for her, that means that my cabin is one-down. The girls never stop screaming. They never stop running and yelling and moving and hitting and, to be honest, I just can't keep up. I'm really wondering whether I made the right choice in coming here this summer. While there are some blissful moments, I feel as though I'm so physically and emotionally exhausted that I'm missing out on the fun parts.

Perhaps I'm just so overwhelmed because it's only the second night with kids. I'm hoping, praying, and begging for it to get better. I just don't know if I have the patience to deal with 12 children 24/7 for the next 48 days. I'm so worried that I'll flip out and yell at them and get fired. To be honest, sometimes tough love needs to happen. Just because these children pay an absurd amount of money to attend this camp doesn't mean that they can be rude and/or disrespectful.

I apologize for ranting. But, I can't exactly express my views here. While I think that most of the counselors feel the same way, I don't want to become "the complainer." Rather, I'll become the "one who mysteriously disappeared because she couldn't handle summer camp." You know that movie Wet Hot American Summer? The reason that those counselors do drugs and drink excessively is because these children, these crazed children, have driven them to such measures. Now, I understand.

Oh, I'm so so so tired dear reader. I could rant on for hundreds of pages about my current contempt for this beautiful and seemingly utopian place. But, let's "be real" for a moment. Nobody is happy all of the time. Nobody should be allowed to be disrespectful. Not everyone can win at a game. If winning didn't matter, why would they keep score? Honestly.

Goodnight.

An Examination of Values. . . or Lack Thereof

Well, the first day-off for counselors has officially come and past. Little did I know that the entire day would be planned around drinking. While I do enjoy the occasional drink, it boggled my mind to see how highly prioritized alcohol was for my comrades. I, unfortunately, was unable to partake in festivities as I had to complete the barnwork. However, listening to the stories has me wondering if I really DO wish I'd gone.

On a slightly more serious note, I am truly disturbed about how my peers view alcohol. It is no wonder so many accidents occur within my age group, as it seems like the only thing everyone wants to do is get so drunk that they sleep with someone they barely know and spend the following day either vomiting or drinking more.


Drinking really can be fun, and safe. But, if my generation continues to binge drink, it will only bring harm. So stop being shitty twenty-somethings, and grow-up.

A New Level of Exhaustion

Oh dear reader, I do believe that a new level of exhaustion has crossed my path on the highway of life. I am encompassed both physically and emotionally by an exhaustion that overwhelms all other emotions. Yet, the reasons for this phenomenon are blissful.

I've been spending my days in an adventure like no other. Despite the cliches regarding summer camp that are consequences of the Parent Trap and Wet Hot American Summer, the truth of the matter is that camp is a bubble. It is an omnipresent bubble that consumes you heart and soul, thrusting you into a safe, radiant arena of love, happiness, and passion. 

The people I'm surrounded with are nothing if not passionate. In our respective disciplines, we excel. As a team, we excel. Without each other, we are nothing. This is the lesson I've learned in my first two weeks in Maine. 

To be honest, it's only been 9 days. And yet, I feel like I've known these people a lifetime and that they will forever play a role in my life. Certainly, I will not keep in touch with all of them. However, the lessons I've learned from our collectivity will inevitably be applicable in the future. 

I apologize for not writing more - to be honest, I haven't had the time or energy. Plus, if it comes down to playing a game of beach volleyball or going online. . . .the volleyball ALWAYS wins. I hope you're enjoying your summer, dear reader. I hope you are learning, growing, changing, developing, maturing, and smiling, just like I am.

Sights from the Saddle

Well, I've spent the last few days doing absurd amounts of barn work and riding horses left and right. Suffice to say that my muscles are sore and my body sunburnt; however, I'm really beginning to bond with the staff as well as get to know the horses.

We start all staff orientation tomorrow and I'm SO excited. I can't wait to meet new people and learn their stories. It's amazing how easy it is to find common interests in strangers.

Speaking of strangers. . . and the staff. . .  .THERE ARE SO MANY HANDSOME MEN HERE. Thank you lord for blessing me with a summer of beauty.

Hollaback, Maine. HOLLABACK.

It turns out that Maine DOES have technology. . . .

So, who knew that Maine would have wifi? I certainly wasn't expecting it in the middle of the woods. Gotta love the wonders of technology. . . . .

I'm officially at camp in what-can-only-be-described-as-bumblefuck, Maine. It's really quite the place. Despite the absolutely freezing weather the past few days, the facilities are beautiful and are causing me to gain a new appreciation of nature. I completely understand why people send their kids here, as it really is a child's paradise. There is water skiing, sailing, horseback riding, tennis, soccer, photography, dance, gymnastics, the list goes on! Everything is beautifully maintained and there are very qualified people teaching each activity. Speaking of people, most of them are extremely nice! It's been great meeting people from all over the world; plus, it doesn't hurt that some of the guys are very handsome. ;)

So, now that I've realized that I'm able to continue blogging and texting to the outside world, I plan on doing so. I'll be spending this summer working in the equestrian program. As such, I'll be sure to start recording all of my sights from the saddle.

Hope you're enjoying your summer! And here's to hoping that I thoroughly enjoy mine. . . .

Change

Tonight, I was truly touched. Moved. Inspired. Motivated.

What moves you, dear reader?

Some moments in life have impressions. It may not be an object or being from the moment; it may be the combination of time and action and senses. Regardless, I am grateful for those moments that make me think. If we are not thinking, we are not living. If only all moments encouraged such thoughts.

Wishful Thinking

Hello again, dear reader! Hope the extreme heat and tornadoes have been treating you well!

So, I'm spending my weekend up at school before shipping off to the Maine wilderness for the summer. It's hard to believe that my short-lived summer is quickly coming to a close before work begins. I'm already nostalgic for my mini-summer. Had I known how much I'd have enjoyed being home, I'd never have signed-up for this position. However, I am anxious to arrive and get to know everyone. And, I'm certainly hoping this summer will get my mind on a more positive track than it's been the past few days.

Tonight, I find myself thinking about friendship. Thus, I find myself asking a lot of rhetorical questions. If you find yourself feeling that a friendship is obligatory, is it really a friendship? Also, is it possible to want to be friends with one part of a person, but not another? I find myself looking to someone who I had previously been very close with; more recently, I've noticed that the friendship is not mutual. I feel like he takes and takes, but never gives anything in return. When we talk, he only talks about himself. How can he claim to "care" but never inquire? How can he claim to "miss" me but never make any attempt to talk to me except when I'm talking to others right in front of him? I apologize for my ranting. I'm just so frustrated.

You're probably thinking something along the lines of: "If you're such good friends, why can't you just tell him what's bothering you?" Here's the thing, dear reader, I DID. Blatantly. Obviously. BLUNTLY. And yet, he ignored it and continued to talk about himself. [Side note: I really am SO happy for him. He is enjoying his life and growing as a person. Sincerely, I'm glad he is happy.] I just don't know what to do. This frustration has been building because I've been ignoring this tendency but I just can't take it anymore. [go listen to "I Wanna Talk About Me" by Toby Keith. You'll understand.]

My rant is over. I'll return to writing when I'm less likely to punch the keys with violent force.

A Week of Apathy

Hello again, dear readers. I must apologize for my week devoid of posts. I'm afraid that my severe sunburn not only left my physically immobile, but mentally as well. To be completely honest, I haven't felt like doing anything over the past week. As such, I've spent my time watching movies, reading books, and spending absurd amounts of time on the internet. [Word of caution: StumbleUpon will result in hours of mindless internet use]

But, with only three days left until my departure, I felt that I must take the opportunity to say a few things about summer. I've spent some time thinking about the different activities that my friends and I will be doing this summer. Whereas some people are traveling Europe, others are working 40-hour weeks at the local supermarket or at a poorly-paid internship. Then, of course, there are some people, like myself, who will be spending their summer at a summer camp in middle-of-nowhere Maine. While my friends are miserable in office cubicles or behind cash registers, I'll be enjoying the lovely outdoors and eloquent simplicity that accompany a lack of technology and society. While I will certainly miss my friends and family, I am excited to spend a summer away from the monotonous drone of 21st century society. Why spend a summer on a laptop when I could spend it on the back of a horse?

So, I challenge each of you to think about what you're doing this summer. If you're stuck with a job you abhor, I advise you to 1] remember that it is fortunate to have a job during the recession, and 2] do something with your spare time that is productive or, at least, enjoyable. While you might not want to spend the summer taking classes, keep your wits about you by reading (or writing) books, taking photographs, taking trips, doing SOMETHING that is worth remembering your summer by. You shouldn't look back at 2011 as the summer you worked at the Piggly Wiggly; you should look back at 2011 as the summer you took thousands of photographs or wrote a book or took random hikes or learned about flowers or began playing the guitar or lost weight or the SUMMER THAT SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENED.

For me, I'm determined to make this the "summer something GREAT happened."I'm not sure what my "great" thing is yet; but, when I figure that out, I'll let you know!