Wishful Thinking

Hello again, dear reader! Hope the extreme heat and tornadoes have been treating you well!

So, I'm spending my weekend up at school before shipping off to the Maine wilderness for the summer. It's hard to believe that my short-lived summer is quickly coming to a close before work begins. I'm already nostalgic for my mini-summer. Had I known how much I'd have enjoyed being home, I'd never have signed-up for this position. However, I am anxious to arrive and get to know everyone. And, I'm certainly hoping this summer will get my mind on a more positive track than it's been the past few days.

Tonight, I find myself thinking about friendship. Thus, I find myself asking a lot of rhetorical questions. If you find yourself feeling that a friendship is obligatory, is it really a friendship? Also, is it possible to want to be friends with one part of a person, but not another? I find myself looking to someone who I had previously been very close with; more recently, I've noticed that the friendship is not mutual. I feel like he takes and takes, but never gives anything in return. When we talk, he only talks about himself. How can he claim to "care" but never inquire? How can he claim to "miss" me but never make any attempt to talk to me except when I'm talking to others right in front of him? I apologize for my ranting. I'm just so frustrated.

You're probably thinking something along the lines of: "If you're such good friends, why can't you just tell him what's bothering you?" Here's the thing, dear reader, I DID. Blatantly. Obviously. BLUNTLY. And yet, he ignored it and continued to talk about himself. [Side note: I really am SO happy for him. He is enjoying his life and growing as a person. Sincerely, I'm glad he is happy.] I just don't know what to do. This frustration has been building because I've been ignoring this tendency but I just can't take it anymore. [go listen to "I Wanna Talk About Me" by Toby Keith. You'll understand.]

My rant is over. I'll return to writing when I'm less likely to punch the keys with violent force.