"And the best of your days will all vanish into haze when you're. . . . "

The end of that quote? ".....ON DRUGS." If I could replace the words "you're on drugs" with "it's finals week," then Weezer could officially sing a saga about my life. That, arguably, could be the most exciting part of the saga. . . .but that's okay.


It's no secret to any college student that it's finals time. No student can ignore that constant feeling of exhaustion as days spent within the stacks of the library blend into weeks and sleep becomes optional. Students who were once talkative and well-dressed now walk into class 10 minutes late, donning sweatpants and weary eyes. And, in case that isn't enough of a signal, here's how you know it's finals time:

• More time is spent in the library than in your room
• The length of time you spend sleeping is closer to a nap than a full night's rest
• The petty amount of money left in your bank account is spent on caffeinated beverages
• Working-out for hours on end seems like an excellent means of avoiding your homework
• You become an addict. 

Now, to some of you, the word addict may be a bit confusing, concerning, alarming even. But, if you would, allow me to explain. College finals turn students into addicts. Once-average students will cling to any attractive entity to avoid work. Some students work-out, others eat their feelings, and some spend hours on websites such as Facebook, StumbleUpon, or Pinterest. Some students may stay-up all night playing video games; others might clean their apartments obsessively because "a dirty room distracts me." Personally, I find myself to be a mix of several of these categories. Regardless, I can firmly state that these addictions provide unhealthy yet appealing ways to avoid the overwhelming amount of work assigned by our sadistic professors. 

Random tangent: Speaking of sadistic professors, have you ever considered looking at final exams from their perspective? I can't help but wonder if they feel encouraged or defeated as they look at exams. Do they focus on the group of students that have grasped the material and found new ways to examine a field? Or, do the professors look at all of the subpar grades and wonder if s/he has failed as a teacher? 

So students, as you're studying and writing and drinking questionable amounts of caffeine, I have a few final words of advice: 

1. Don't procrastinate. I know you'll avoid this idea, but I have to mention it anyway.
2. Remember to sleep! If you're tired, you won't be able to think, or perform, well.
3. HYDRATE! 'nuff said.
4. Make sure to take some time for yourself everyday to de-stress. How you de-stress. . . .well, that's up to you.
5. Remember: you owe it to yourself and to your professors to prove that you've learned this material. Don't throw away a semester's work because you've got holiday fever now. 
6. MOST IMPORTANTLY! These papers, projects, and exams. . . .well, they aren't the end of the world. If you don't do as well as you'd like, just remember that it's just one class, or one paper, of your entire college career. Rest assured knowing you tried your best. What more could anyone really ask for?

Well, I'm afraid I need to go continue studying. Good luck on finals, everyone! 

And the students think they have it rough. . . .